Saturday, March 11, 2006
Thank's anyway..... Mr X
during this period of time i really think back alot and realise alot
my heart starts to bleed again....
But this time is a total different feeling i think perhaps...this is the first time in my life i get such kind of disappointment and regret feeling towards a person....
But "Mr X" really gave a big tight slap to my Naive and let me realise soo manny things.....
Everything to me is a just a painful lesson. ..
No doubt, Mr X is a person who behaves excatly just like his age, he's mature(in certain areas) and have his good points of his character..maybe if he can be a good friend but defiantly i know NOW he is not a person which a gal can entrust her happiness to.....
Alot of people say they know the difference between love and like? But do they really know?
I doubt so....
Even myself, i'm still thinking whether i understand this question anot....But I'm sure that i will become a different person when I'm in love...
To me, until now i don't know in my life his appearance in my life, is it a blessing or a pushiment to me?!!
How I wish I could turn back time and change the whole situation...
I though everything is a blessing to me...But I'm wrong.....
I even plan alot of suprises and plans between us...But everytime i get is just one by one disappointment...
Compromise, changing, giving way,etc....
I didn't even realise I'm changed for the sake of...'.....
Until the day i realised the truth and saw it at my own eyes....
I think if i didn't know and find out the truth, i think i'll still be in my dreams and my naive thoughs...
My heart bleeds and my tears when i saw all these truths through my own eyes....
I just feel a knife cutting at the edge of my heart.....tears drop uncontrollably...
Even at school, in front of grace, jace, and ah Hui....It's worse...I couldn't control my tears..
I know it's not worth it...But i just feel a great disappointment to this person whom i have given all my trust, concern& care, appreciation and my love to....
I don't mind whether he trust me anot, concern me anot, attitude towards me, everything....
I just need a sense of appreciation of what i have done and Truthfulness towards me...
This feeling is worse than my best friend betrayal 5 years ago.....I lose my appetite, my smile, my laughther, most importanly, my trust.....
But i realised i didn't cry as much as i though....I just wish that i could cry it out loudly but i didn't....I also can't find out the reason till now....
Maybe it's because i realise the truth bah....
Now i realised.....Angry?Tears? Argue? is it worth anot....
If a person don't even know what is Love? Why should i be angry?why should i go to confront him?Is just like "a chinese phrase "对牛谈情"talking to a person who don't even understand what are you trying to say...
Grace told me, i will not forget a person if i keep on mention about him...Yap...i totally with her words...
Yes, he did brought me alot of happy and laughter and enlighten my thoughs( in certain areas) BUT more on unhappy and REGRET.... Maybe we can really become friends again if possible, i don't mind....
He had made himself a mark in my life....But this mark will defiantely be removed in sooner or later....in fact, i'm really glad and realised that i'm returning back to my normal daily life again....
during this period of time i really think back alot and realise alot
my heart starts to bleed again....
But this time is a total different feeling i think perhaps...this is the first time in my life i get such kind of disappointment and regret feeling towards a person....
But "Mr X" really gave a big tight slap to my Naive and let me realise soo manny things.....
Everything to me is a just a painful lesson. ..
No doubt, Mr X is a person who behaves excatly just like his age, he's mature(in certain areas) and have his good points of his character..maybe if he can be a good friend but defiantly i know NOW he is not a person which a gal can entrust her happiness to.....
Alot of people say they know the difference between love and like? But do they really know?
I doubt so....
Even myself, i'm still thinking whether i understand this question anot....But I'm sure that i will become a different person when I'm in love...
To me, until now i don't know in my life his appearance in my life, is it a blessing or a pushiment to me?!!
How I wish I could turn back time and change the whole situation...
I though everything is a blessing to me...But I'm wrong.....
I even plan alot of suprises and plans between us...But everytime i get is just one by one disappointment...
Compromise, changing, giving way,etc....
I didn't even realise I'm changed for the sake of...'.....
Until the day i realised the truth and saw it at my own eyes....
I think if i didn't know and find out the truth, i think i'll still be in my dreams and my naive thoughs...
My heart bleeds and my tears when i saw all these truths through my own eyes....
I just feel a knife cutting at the edge of my heart.....tears drop uncontrollably...
Even at school, in front of grace, jace, and ah Hui....It's worse...I couldn't control my tears..
I know it's not worth it...But i just feel a great disappointment to this person whom i have given all my trust, concern& care, appreciation and my love to....
I don't mind whether he trust me anot, concern me anot, attitude towards me, everything....
I just need a sense of appreciation of what i have done and Truthfulness towards me...
This feeling is worse than my best friend betrayal 5 years ago.....I lose my appetite, my smile, my laughther, most importanly, my trust.....
But i realised i didn't cry as much as i though....I just wish that i could cry it out loudly but i didn't....I also can't find out the reason till now....
Maybe it's because i realise the truth bah....
Now i realised.....Angry?Tears? Argue? is it worth anot....
If a person don't even know what is Love? Why should i be angry?why should i go to confront him?Is just like "a chinese phrase "对牛谈情"talking to a person who don't even understand what are you trying to say...
Grace told me, i will not forget a person if i keep on mention about him...Yap...i totally with her words...
Yes, he did brought me alot of happy and laughter and enlighten my thoughs( in certain areas) BUT more on unhappy and REGRET.... Maybe we can really become friends again if possible, i don't mind....
He had made himself a mark in my life....But this mark will defiantely be removed in sooner or later....in fact, i'm really glad and realised that i'm returning back to my normal daily life again....
i want you back at 1:32 AM
0 on-lookers thought having you back was easy
0 on-lookers thought having you back was easy